never been kissed

hello! i'm 20 and i've never been kissed. yup, i know its hard to believe. even i don't believe it sometimes. but i decided that i am going to get my kiss. this fall i'm going to be twenty one and i hope to get my kiss before then. come with me as i search for my first kiss.

starstruck.

so nothing much has happened since monday but i just wanted to add a little bit to the whole a-rod incident.

you see, over the summer we’ve had practice with all the kids in sis’s court and at first, i didn’t like any of them and i just ignored them but then i decided to stop acting so rude and give everyone a chance even though they were younger than me. and turns out, a lot of them are super awesome kids! i got to really know them and i wasn’t shy at all to act myself around all the court people…everyone except one that is: a-rod.

for some reason i always felt that he would avoid me so i would do the same. i think in reality, i was the one who was pushing him away and he felt it so he tried to stay away. i tried my hardest to get over the awkwardness that was around us whenever we were somehow alone together. and actually i think i did a pretty amazing job to eliminate that awkwardness. 

the day of the quince, we were dancing next to each other and talking as if it had always been that way. but then at his house on monday, i just abandoned all ships and sank. i think i was nervous and shy and i just let that get the best of me.

usually i try not to shut myself in front of anyone. even at school with total strangers, i try to act as open as possible by talking to them or answering kindly if they ask me something or just smiling at them. but on monday, i froze.

and that makes me think…i usually don’t freeze up unless i really like the guy. so maybe…

…i think i might have a crush on this dude.

oh geez.

  • 4 November 2011
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